She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
be right there i have to get my cape
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
