Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize