Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize