Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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