On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
foreskin is a definite game changer
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
