hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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