I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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