8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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