was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
