if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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