youre lurking in front of me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
