I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
