More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize