Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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