ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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