Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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