she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
