as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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