Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
