I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
