I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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