One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
