In the future we'll all be gay
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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