It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
