Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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