so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
