i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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