i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
