Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fuck appropriateness.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
