He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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