My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
