I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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