I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
