I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
being pregnant is like rehab
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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