What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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