i love accidental penises.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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