Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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