So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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