the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the day after is always just damage control
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
