Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
