Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
