i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
