Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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