I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
