Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
