I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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