Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
