He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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