i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
