i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
