Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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