I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Drake has all the answers
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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