Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
