It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
