Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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