Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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