You just made me feel so damn special
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
