It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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