That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
