We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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