I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
