I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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