tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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